Clementine’s Top 8 Major Signs of Distress in a Grief Wonderland
- Clementine
- 6 days ago
- 2 min read
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When I face grieving periods from loss or illness, my body reacts with stress responses that can drain energy and weaken immunity. Appetite may change, sleep can become irregular, and motivation to move or maintain routines often declines. These changes can create a cycle where physical health worsens, which in turn deepens emotional distress.
Grief is more complicated if it is—
abbreviated
ambiguous
anticipated
collective
cumulative
delayed
disenfranchised
inhibited
prolonged
traumatic
If I could not participate in grief’s meaning making, I would feel impaired in a desolate terrain. However, grief can send me into a perilous Wonderland, waiting to wake from Alice’s non-adventure. These are the major signs of distress I look for while grieving:
losing an existing skill set
always “catching up” with my loved ones
rapidly expending energy without refueling
displacing typically important self-care tasks
joining on others’ timetable and yet not succeeding
never achieving consecutive or predictable activities
exhausting myself with discussions that lack a payoff
receiving more criticism than usual about my performance
How do I grapple with keeping a schedule during or after grief convalescence? One, I usually reflect on the schedule I was recently able to carry. If I don’t remember, I try monitoring my activities from that point forward. Looking at my habits for just a few days in a row can help me see how to regain traction. Then, I gently work on mapping out a new manageable schedule.
Just like I have to eat differently when physically ill, my activity diet must change when I am under emotional strain. My activity level might fluctuate from my norm—sometimes increasing, sometimes decreasing. I have to make plans in a way that regulates mood and energy. As an idea, schedule changes themselves do not have to intimidate me. Plans are simply meant to lay out my activities for specific stretches of time. So, I like to take the chance to regroup and create a balanced schedule to support my healing. After that, my grief is expressed from a more meaningful place throughout my Everyday Living.
